WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
