We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
