Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
