so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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