check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He shit in the fireplace
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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