I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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