I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize