Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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