What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
