WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
