I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
