That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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