look no pants
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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