direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
