i just had sex bonerless
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
