kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
