Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
