glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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