yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
