Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
