I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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