I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
