I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
