Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
