Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
