No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
