I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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