that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
