he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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