Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
