You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
