the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
