okay pat passed out under dana's car
smell my finger.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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