their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
