bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize