this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
