Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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