we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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