If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
