Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
