And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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