but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
