thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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