Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't deserve a penis
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
