May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
