We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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