Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
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I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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