don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
