i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
