she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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