found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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