Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
