The brown eye won't let me do that either.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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