we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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