am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
