champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
