Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
