he wants to bone in the snuggie
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
