he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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