How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
