haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
