You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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