I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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