Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
